Waiting for Miss Right

There are basically two entirely opposite views that Christians take towards dating and marriage. Allow me to grossly over-simplify and caricature them.

Some Christians believe that because God’s in control, there’s a Mr/Miss Right out there somewhere, and all I have to do is wait until he/she turns up, then you’ll live happily ever after with your perfect match.

Others believe that you pretty much have half the world’s single human population to pick from, and that all of them will be ok in some regards, and bad in others. You’d better just accept that marriage is tough, and put lots of effort into it.

Here’s what I think, as a married man: Anna (my wife) was my Miss Right. I know this as an absolute fact, because I married her. God’s in control, so the one he preordained to be my wife is my Miss Right (that’s Mrs Right to you). And I was her Mr Right.

But here’s where it gets complicated. Right up to the point that Anna became my wife, I had no way of knowing whether she was my Miss Right or not. So imagine with me that instead of meeting Anna I’d met someone else and married them…would I have missed out on my Miss Right? Simple answer: no, because she wouldn’t be my wife.

Conclusion for single people who want to get married but haven’t met Mr/Miss Right yet: Stop waiting around! You’ll end up being disillusioned if you think God will simply drop a happily-ever-after marriage into your lap.

Conclusion for married people: Your spouse is the one God preordained for you, so we should acknowledge that happily ever after isn’t a fairy tale, we’re already there…but that needs effort from both husband and wife.

It is not good for a man to be alone

 

Husbands and Wives (song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On behalf of all men everywhere can I admit: men need help.

Now I’ve cleared the air, Rick Thomas, a trained counsellor, has written a great article basically assessing the fact that men act like they can do fine on their own (because they’re men) but they really need help from their wives.

What do you think?

How to know you’ve found ‘the one’

Simple answer: if you’re married, ‘the one’ is wearing the ring you got.

But what if you’re single and looking to find ‘the one’? Write this down: stop looking for the one. If you’re looking for someone to perfectly fit your mould the chances are you won’t find them, and even if you do your mould will change if they don’t so you’re in a losing battle!

Here’s the key. Meet someone of the opposite sex who you get on with. If they’re up for it, get married to them. Stick with it no matter what, and celebrate God’s sovereignty in bringing you to your ‘one’.

By the way, if you’re single and have been looking for someone for a while now without success, I genuinely apologise if you feel condemned by this post – that’s really not its purpose. Its purpose is to give a good kick to those guys who go through life from one relationship to another without any sense of gratefulness for the people God’s giving to them, and without any sense of commitment.