Automatic poetry

Google’s homepage 1998–1999 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Allow me to show you some poignant, although perhaps depressing, poetry I wrote in about five seconds just now:

It’s your Birthday,
It’s your story;
It’s your choice.

It’s your move.

That’s fantastic, though I say it myself.

And I actually wrote two words of that: ‘It’s your’; the rest of it was written by Google’s automatic suggested search terms. Give it a go yourself! Head over to Google and type in a couple of words, and allow Google to write a poem for you itself.

Here are a couple more to show you how great this is:

I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly,
I don’t think so.
I don’t think so, Tim,
I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.

Just one more:

I need a job
I need a dollar
I need a doctor
I need a hero

 

Please share your best ones in the comments!

Related articles

• These ‘Google Poems’ Are Hauntingly Beautiful (huffingtonpost.com)
• The Accidental Poetry of Google’s Predictive Search (fastcocreate.com)

My next watch

Well.

A bit ago my mate Toby wrote about his prediction for the future of the Google Goggles. Turns out his idea for Bluetooth connectivity might be pretty much here already.

Here’s my prediction: whatever I end up getting as my next phone/watch/glasses/brain implant, I’m guaranteed to be left feeling like I’ve missed out on whatever the next Big Thing is.

But it does look cool.

How people find me

Image via Wikipedia

Here’s a bit of fun. WordPress is lovely in that it allows me to see what people who find my blog were originally searching for. So here are the top ten search terms people use to get here (I’ve excluded people specifically searching for ‘Sam Isaacson’ or anything with that in it because that just wouldn’t be funny enough).

So, at number ten…

10. Inconsistencies in the Bible

For the people who searched for this, I’m sorry. You probably clicked onto my blog to find some inconsistencies in the Bible and discovered that there weren’t any. Oh well.

9. A bad workman blames his tools story

Well, those of you looking for an analogy will have been served very well. I assume you found this post. I hope you were blessed by it.

8. Margarine illegal

Perfect example of how the internet proves itself – I assume you were looking for evidence that margarine is illegal. I said something about it without any background information or evidence whatsoever. I apologise.

7. Brian Cox

Ok, well, I hope you found what you were looking for! I’m not even sure who Brian Cox is any more so if anyone wants to help me out, you’re more than welcome. Maybe I should Google it and click on my own blog.

[Edit. Ok, found him, he probably landed you up here. Stuck a photo of him above to make up for it. Sorry Brian.]

6. Christian porn

Ok, I can guess how you ended up at either of these posts about porn addiction, but seriously? Just stop it, ok?

5. Justin Beever

Love it. I mentioned this guy in  passing once, and he’s number five all-time. Jolly good. Well done all. I hope you found my little drawing funny.

4. Angela Kemm

Now I know this lady, what a legend. I literally told one little story about her, I hope it helped you all out.

3. Oxo laughing stock

Ok, now all of you who actually clicked on the blog through this search, you already know the joke – that’s the punchline. I hope whatever you ended up finding improved your life.

2. Takkiya

Yep, I know what you all found, again see numbers 2 and 8 above.

1. Irony

Well, actually no-one found here by searching for ‘irony’ but the number one search term was apparently: <!search_terms> – for the 1,234 (no way!) people who searched for this and found me I hope you found what you were looking for.

Personalised advertising

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Cover of Minority Report [Blu-ray

I remember watching Minority Reportwhen it first came out (i.e. when you didn’t need to take out a mortgage to go to the cinema) and really enjoying their portrayal of future technology, in particular when the guy’s walking through the shopping centre.

The main character has had his eyes replaced with someone else’s, but the shopping centre advertising gadgets are scanning his eyes and are asking whether he’d be interested in buying more of whatever he bought before (I think it’s something like lingerie – always good for a laugh).

Advertising has taken a step towards this future over the last couple of years – Google shamelessly tracks all your internet activity, and gives you adverts based on complex algorithms – which websites you visit the most, what you’ve read today, what keywords are in your e-mails etc…this was no more obvious to me than today – I needed to book a hotel with work so was looking at the website of a recommended hotel, and ever since every advert has been for this specific hotel!

So is this useful, or is it encroaching into my personal space and using my personal information for profit? I don’t think I’m bothered…