Protecting children online

Peter and Lydia (Photo credit: Michael Sarver)

I wonder if anyone has an answer for this: what proportion of people who’ve seen naughty images saw it on purpose? In other words, how many people who have never experienced anything like that actually go out of their way to find them?

I’d be willing to guess that the proportion would be pretty small. Most people I talk to say that the first time they saw a naked lady or whatever was by someone else showing it to them, or a random popup on the internet, or simply searching for something innocent online and finding that it means something entirely different in ‘that world’.

For me, that thing I was searching for was ‘deckchair’. What on earth?

I read an article a couple of weeks ago written by a lady who searched for a Christian video by its exact title, and six of the top ten results were pornographic.

That gets pretty scary when you imagine a child innocently searching for something fun and stumbling across something that will affect them for the rest of their lives. How about when you imagine your child doing that?

That article finishes by saying this:

There are sites dedicated to childhood cartoon pornography, and you know they aren’t for the adults. It brings a new perspective to 1 Peter 5:8, when we are told to be sober and vigilant because our adversary is roaming around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

If a roaring lion were after you and your child, what would you do?

Please, parents be vigilant, for the sake of your sons (and daughters), be watching. Be involved. Know what is finding your kids.

I’d encourage you to read the whole thing.

Related articles

• What should Christian parents do if they have a prodigal Son or Daughter? (raymondjclements.wordpress.com)

How people find me

Image via Wikipedia

Here’s a bit of fun. WordPress is lovely in that it allows me to see what people who find my blog were originally searching for. So here are the top ten search terms people use to get here (I’ve excluded people specifically searching for ‘Sam Isaacson’ or anything with that in it because that just wouldn’t be funny enough).

So, at number ten…

10. Inconsistencies in the Bible

For the people who searched for this, I’m sorry. You probably clicked onto my blog to find some inconsistencies in the Bible and discovered that there weren’t any. Oh well.

9. A bad workman blames his tools story

Well, those of you looking for an analogy will have been served very well. I assume you found this post. I hope you were blessed by it.

8. Margarine illegal

Perfect example of how the internet proves itself – I assume you were looking for evidence that margarine is illegal. I said something about it without any background information or evidence whatsoever. I apologise.

7. Brian Cox

Ok, well, I hope you found what you were looking for! I’m not even sure who Brian Cox is any more so if anyone wants to help me out, you’re more than welcome. Maybe I should Google it and click on my own blog.

[Edit. Ok, found him, he probably landed you up here. Stuck a photo of him above to make up for it. Sorry Brian.]

6. Christian porn

Ok, I can guess how you ended up at either of these posts about porn addiction, but seriously? Just stop it, ok?

5. Justin Beever

Love it. I mentioned this guy in  passing once, and he’s number five all-time. Jolly good. Well done all. I hope you found my little drawing funny.

4. Angela Kemm

Now I know this lady, what a legend. I literally told one little story about her, I hope it helped you all out.

3. Oxo laughing stock

Ok, now all of you who actually clicked on the blog through this search, you already know the joke – that’s the punchline. I hope whatever you ended up finding improved your life.

2. Takkiya

Yep, I know what you all found, again see numbers 2 and 8 above.

1. Irony

Well, actually no-one found here by searching for ‘irony’ but the number one search term was apparently: <!search_terms> – for the 1,234 (no way!) people who searched for this and found me I hope you found what you were looking for.

The biggest driver for anything: sex

Perhaps this is an exaggeration, but it’s probably at least close to true: the biggest driver for achieving anything is sex.

Damon Brown, a writer for Playboy, once said:

It seems so obvious. If we invent a machine, the first thing we are going to do—after making a profit—is use it to watch porn. You name it, pornography planted its big flag there first, or at least shortly thereafter.

Think about it. He’s probably right. And Damon Brown would obviously therefore say porn’s a good thing. I’m sure we can agree that without sex the human race statistically would die out in approximately one generation.

But porn is objectively bad. A study by Drs. Zolf Zillman and Jennings Bryant showed that only 25% men who watched 4 hours and 48 minutes of porn over 6 weeks supported women’s rights, in comparison to 71% of men who hadn’t – that’s a 46% drop. Shockingly, women in the study showed a 30% drop in support for women’s rights.

So, to say sex (and its mutated ugly sister porn) is so significant it’s been a while since my last post on it. And because I think it’s important, I’m just going to post to some good other posts on it.

• Overcoming pornography temptations
• A parent’s guide to protecting kids on YouTube
• Accountability partner guide

Visual stimulation

Infographics about porn seem to be all the rage right now – I thought this one was pretty illuminating:

There was one I saw a couple of weeks ago which had a pretty disturbing statistic:

Eighty per cent of women fantasize regularly about sexual encounters with people who are not their partner.

…

Ninety-eight per cent of men do.

Let us pray.

Pornography blocker ‘opt in’

Erm…right…so I read this article in my RSS feed the other day…I agree with the idea behind it, but ‘opt-in’? Why not ‘opt-out’?!

Has our country actually come down to the fact now that parents have to actively choose for their children not to illegally watch porn?

Wow. God save us.

Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper (audio)

I greatly respect John Piper’s ministry, and one of his key mottos which has impacted me has been ‘Don’t waste your life’. The idea that I could sit on my deathbed and regret my time here is a thought that plagues me, and I think Piper’s theology hits the nail squarely on the head. Through a variety of carefully picked chapters John Piper puts forward the idea that we will be most fulfilled, and most satisfied, when we are living every ounce of our lives to the glory of God.

The writing style is extremely logical, but includes many well-told stories so to my mind anyone would enjoy reading this book, and the audio presentation is also good. I have heard many tell me before that their lives have been radically changed through reading this book, and I have to say I join those ranks.

My only concern with this book would be that a reader/listener could take the message ‘too far’, so I’d thoroughly recommend this book with a ‘chill out’ warning. That said, Piper is well aware of this tendency so a careful read of this would be a good thing for absolutely anyone.

In short, I’d recommend this to every Christian regardless of spiritual maturity, and every seeker. In particular I think this would be invaluable to someone whose faith had started to become stale. If you’re not sure, check out the free version of this available online for download: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/online-books/dont-waste-your-life

I got this audiobook for free from christianaudio.com. I’m not required to give a positive review.

How doctrine’s like sex

Put ‘sex’ in a blog post title and increase traffic by 39%.  Fact.

I started reading a book the other day.  One of the things it said is that doctrine has become like a demigod to some branches of Christianity, and like a curse word for others.

The author very cleverly compares doctrine to sex. Satan has no creative ability, so the only way he can be mean is to take something good, and twist it until it’s so deformed it’s difficult to see past it to the original beautiful thing it was created to be. The perfect example of this is sex, and here are his own words:

What could be more life-affirming, life-enhancing, life-producing, more fun, joyful, freeing, and exciting? Now think of how the enemy has bent it into a grotesque caricature in the sex shows, peep shows, and prostitution markets – how it perverts and debases the pornography-bound, the sadomasochist, and the child abuser. Life bent into death. The same can be said for any aspect of reality, and that includes the intellectual, the philosophical, the biblical, the theological. What God intended for blessing as been – but need not continue to be – a curse. Sex is still really good, despite its ugly distortions.

So is theology.

I encourage you to try it. You’ll like it.

Good theology, like good sex, is not optional for the survival of the human race. It is not just for the religious/philosophical Geek Squad. It is essential.

Spot on, I think.

Violence in movies is ok

Jon Acuff posted a bit ago, commenting on the fact that Christians were allowed to watch 18-rated movies so long as they were filled to the brim with violence (as opposed to nudity).

However a good Christian friend of mine said she couldn’t enjoy some movies because, as a Christian, she couldn’t bring herself to ‘enjoy’ the gratuitous violence in them.

I’ve always thought that violence in movies is fine! My reasoning was that at the time of the New Testament being written, gladiatorial combat was popular – the Bible’s clear lack of any teaching around this leads me to believe that it doesn’t really matter what you think!

But then I read another point of view:

I have a high tolerance for violence, high tolerance for bad language, and zero tolerance for nudity. There is a reason for these differences. The violence is make-believe. They don’t really mean those bad words. But that lady is really naked, and I am really watching. And somewhere she has a brokenhearted father.

I’ll put it bluntly. The only nude female body a guy should ever lay his eyes on is his wife’s. The few exceptions include doctors, morticians, and fathers changing diapers.

The full post is here. It’s not too long, and I think it’s worth reading all the way through.

Sex, Romance and the Glory of God by CJ Mahaney

I’d previously known about, and been recommended, this book so was grateful for the chance to borrow it from a friend. In it CJ Mahaney presents his thoughts on the Song of Songs and how husbands can respond. It’s definitely for husbands not boyfriends, and while part of it is written by CJ’s wife to wives, the majority of this is written only for husbands.

The book can basically be summed up in one sentence: touch her mind and heart before you touch her body. It will not necessarily, as CJ points out, ‘turn your every sexual encounter with your wife into a sweating, shouting frenzy’, but rather it should ‘improve any couple’s sex life significantly’.

I’d definitely recommend it – it’s biblical, it’s funny, it’s practical. Anna read the bit to wives, and she’d recommend it too.

Resources for dealing with a porn addiction

I’ve been told off before by non-Christians for talking about ‘secret things which go on in the bedroom’ because that’s none of my business. Fair enough point of view, but it’s clear that pornography has a detrimental effect on relationships, self-esteem, jobs, finances, and the perception of women today.

It seems that there’s been a flurry of activity on a bunch of Christian blogs recently with resources for this, so I thought I’d try to gather some of them here, in case people would find them useful.

A selection of excellent 60-day courses which really work at Setting Captives Free

Thabiti Anyabwile on gypsy moths

A long, but very good scientific article on the addictive effects of pornography

Women and pornography

XXXChurch

Breaking the addiction – parts one and two

Justin Taylor’s list of fantastic resources

John Piper – a sermon, and the ANTHEM blog post

Mark Driscoll’s Porn Again Christian book

Tim Challies’ Sexual Detox for single guys and married guys

30 pages of research on porn’s effects

Randy Alcorn on the cost of pornography

That’s all for now. Hope it helps someone.