Here’s a concerning (but perfectly normal) thought progression that I had the other day. To give a bit of context I’d just read that bit in the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus says that even some who address him as Lord will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Who does he say will make it in? ‘The one who does the will of my Father’. Here’s my train of thought:
I want to make sure that I allow the Bible to change me rather than twisting the words of the Bible, but Jesus simply says that I won’t get into the kingdom unless I do the will of the Father. How, then, do I know I’ve been saved when I’m so aware of the fact that I don’t do his will?
I could use a whole host of Bible verses to make me feel better (like John 3:16 and Romans 10:9 for a start), but that would just leave me feeling that I’d twisted the words of the Bible! Have I actually been saved?
I wrestled with this for quite a while, remembering Bible verses that said ‘by grace you have been saved’, then remembering others that said ‘unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees you will never enter the kingdom of heaven’. I realised that although I knew the gospel in my head, I had temporarily lost that heart knowledge – will Jesus disown me because of my disobedience?
But as I was thinking these things, something ridiculously small and silly happened. I got a free breakfast. If anyone’s been saved by the free gift of scrambled eggs, this was it! In this tiny action I saw a tiny evidence of grace, and almost burst out crying! I was so acutely aware of my sinful nature, so completely convinced of my total depravity, that this tiny evidence of grace was sufficient to prove to me that, yes, his grace is sufficient!
There is absolutely no way that I would receive a free breakfast if my salvation were not secure. If grace to all is true, then grace to the elect must also be true, and true for me because I believe!
If you pray one prayer today, let it be Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of your salvation.