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I don’t think the blog’s been controversial enough recently, so I thought I’d bring this up.
Police arrested a mother in Texas who had spanked her child – no bruising occurred, and no belt was used. The judge said she was guilty, she’s now lost custody of her three children, is on probation for five years, and has to take parenting classes. The judge said:
You don’t spank children today. In the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was a different quarrel. You don’t spank children. You understand?
You can read the story here.
Nowadays parents, Christian and non-Christian, disagree about whether it’s right or wrong to spank children, and it now seems that even those who enforce the law can’t make their mind up. It’s particularly interesting to note that it’s legal to kill children while in the womb, but spanking as a form of discipline isn’t allowed.
The real question therefore is: What does God say? And there’s a useful article over here which asks the Bible whether parents should or shouldn’t spank their kids. It’s long, but well worth a read – and I’ll blatantly plagiarise Denny Burk’s summary of it here:
In this article, Wegner shows from scripture several different levels of discipline, one of which is corporal punishment (#6).
Level 1. Encourage proper behavior: A wise parent encourages a child to behave properly (Prov. 1:8-9; 2:2-5; 3:13-15; 4:7-8).
Level 2. Inform of improper behavior: A wise parent is proactive and addresses certain issues before the child might be confronted by them (Prov. 1:10-15; 3:31-32).
Level 3. Explain the negative consequences of sin: A wise parent points out the negative consequences that lie along the path of life (Prov. 1:18-19; 5:3-6).
Level 4. Gently exhort: Wise parents will, on an ongoing basis, advise and exhort their children against sin that can easily become a pattern and encourage them to use wisdom (Prov. 4:1-2, 14-16).
Level 5. Gently rebuke or reprove: The wise parent knows when to use rebuke properly (Prov. 3:12; 24:24-25).
Level 6. Corporal punishment that does not cause physical harm: A wise parent knows when to use corporal, non-abusive punishment (Prov. 19:18; 13:24; 23:13-14; 29:15).
Level 7. Corporal punishment that causes physical harm: The book of Proverbs does not suggest that parents use this technique for discipline, but that serious sin can lead to serious punishment (Prov. 20:30; 10:31).
Level 8. Death: The book of Proverbs also does not include this in the realm of parental discipline, but in the realm of consequences meted out by government or society’s leaders (Gen. 9:6; Prov. 19:18).
This article does not say everything that needs to be said about physical discipline, but it does establish a biblical basis for it. Despite the pronouncements of the judge in Texas, parents who love their children will make use of non-abusive physical discipline (Prov. 13:24). This is what the Bible teaches, and we should be vigilant not to let the spirit of the age make us think otherwise.
I completely agree with the idea – that there is nothing wrong with physical punishment used wisely and out of love. However, I don’t agree with the use of Proverbs to back that up. Proverbs is a book full of… proverbs, not instructions for living. While they provide interesting insights, I don’t think they can be used as a basis for any instruction.
I’m still thinking it through, mind.
However, good topic and blog.
I didn’t get a chance to look at every single verse you posted – however did look up the one of your final statement (or Wegner’s final statement..) which was Proverbs 13.24:
“Whoever spares the rod hates his son”
I read that as he who doesn’t use the rod (i.e. spares it) hates his son. Thus I have always read this particular verse as an advocate for physical punishment. To me this verse says that if you love your son you will use the rod.
What are your thoughts?
Yep – these are Denny Burk’s words but I think I agree with him:
‘Despite the pronouncements of the judge in Texas, parents who love their children will make use of non-abusive physical discipline (Prov. 13:24). This is what the Bible teaches, and we should be vigilant not to let the spirit of the age make us think otherwise.’
I’m confused – I was really after your interpretation of that verse because I read it as mentioned above. What in this verse leads you to believe that non-physical punishment is biblical?
As far as I can see nothing in the noted verse leads me to believe that Burk’s words are biblical concepts.
Lol now I’m confused! Have another read of what I said – I think you’re misreading ‘non-abusive physical discipline’ as ‘non-physical discipline’.
Think I’m getting there.. so Burk is saying that physical discipline is ok, as long as it’s not abusive?
Pretty much – according to the paper the book of Proverbs says parents should use levels 1-6, 6 being ‘corporal punishment that does not cause physical harm’.
So when a parent beats their child and causes bruising, bleeding, broken bones, brain damage etc that would be going a step further than the Bible instructs.
The research is clear, spanking is correlated to a plethora of negative outcomes in the short run (increased aggressive behavior) and in the long term (mental illness, adolescent drug use, adolescent suicide, depression). The list goes on. http://stopspanking.org is an excellent resource for the science. Spanking is on the continuum of violence. A little is bad, more is worse.
Using religion to argue that children do not deserve the basic human right to be free from violence is disturbing. Many, many Christians raise children without violence of any kind.
Not only is spanking wrong, it is unethical.
Here’s Peter Newell’s explanation of why spanking should be banned: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LzxZTYg7hIc
Hi Robbyn – thanks for your comment. I’d like to suggest that the conclusions from the research is wrong (and possibly biased, I’d probably take conclusions from stopspanking.org with a grain or two of salt) – I’m not waving a banner in favour of all physical discipline, just giving a real-life example.
As a child, I was smacked when I’d been naughty, and so were my two brothers. The three of us did not suffer from increased aggressive behaviour as children, none of us are mentally ill, have used drugs, have committed suicide, or suffer from depression. All three of us are happily married to fantastic people, are physically, emotionally and psychologically healthy, and we all have university degrees and successful careers. That suggest either (a) my entire family is an exception to the rule, as are the vast majority of my friends who were smacked as children, or (b) physical discipline is not objectively bad, but is bad when used wrongly.
This is where the Bible comes in. Our human reason tends to swing one way or the other; you clearly equate a slap on the wrist with ‘violence’ whereas I don’t; I’d rather equate a parent screaming and shouting with violence. We can’t both be right. So, perhaps, is God right? I think so, so I will trust Him.